Yakin saya hilang pakcik, tak tau dia pergi mana (Fiksyen) Bab 1 - part 1

Masleha, berhenti daripada membelek telefon bimbit (telefon bimbit sangat ubiquitos sekarang, tak logik kalau tak masuk dalam cerita fiksyen), dia tetiba rasa macam tidak sedap hati. Sebenarnya dia sudah merasai ketidakkeyakinan ini sejak seminggu lalu namun kerana dia banyak kerja dan hidup pula terjadi lalu dia sisihkan ke tepi. Namun apabila perasaan tidak sedap hati itu muncul semula, dia terhenti daripada hidup. Dia cuma mengagak kenapa perasan itu kembali timbul,

Masleha memang banyak hal dalam hidup, maklumlah meminjam ayat tipikal pasal kehidupan, manusia dan masalah tidak akan pernah terpisah. Satu mesti wujud pada satunya, manusia akan sentiasa ada masalah dan masalah akan sentiasa ada manusia yang menjadi penyebabnya. Jika ia bukan daripada manusia, maka ia kerana ketentuan Illahi, namun itu juga untuk menguji manusia. Maka boleh dikatakan semua masalah di muka bumi ini ialah kerana manusia. Justeru manusia dan masalah tidak boleh dipisahkan.

Bagi Masleha, jika dia mempunyai masalah dia akan fikirkan sendiri macam mana nak selesaikannya. Dia bukan tidak mahu luahkan masalahnya kepada orang lain, jika ada peluang dia ingin sekali menceritakan segala yang terbuku di hatinya. Namun, tiada tidak mampu mempunyai kawan, mahu pun mendapatkan perkhidmatan pakar kaunseling. Maka, Masleha buat apa yang dia selalu buat. Berfikir sejenak apa yang berlaku padanya sejak seminggu lalu.

Mungkin jawapannya ialah balik kampung jumpa ibu, dah lama juga dia tak balik kampung. Rasanya ada 40  minggu, sejak dia melawat kakaknya habis berpantang tahun lalu.

......... to be continued and edited

16 years ago, and 16 years later

16 years ago, there were film cameras.
For those who don't own one, like me, we borrow from friends' whose parents have one and we share the film together. Taking pictures were once in a few months activities. Most of my pictures were taken during the year I took my SPM, which was in the last year of school.

Now, 16 years later. I have plenty of camera, 2 DLSRS, one manual Slr, one polaroid, one selfie digital camera, four smart gadgets between me and husband... but, we rarely get down for a photograph session.

Hmmm.,, I should herd us all into a shop to take group pictures once in awhile.

Things change a lot during those years, and taking a picture once in a while and comparing them makes my heart soft and tender. I was a student of 17 and young, now I am working and raising two tykes. Life moves on and photos freezes those moments into snippets of our life.

Walking Down Memory Lane

Found this very suwit photo of my sister, changing my eldest son's diaper when he was a newborn. Photos do tell a thousand words. Happy mother's day, my mom and auntie Ulul

How to parallel park

I found two spaces to parallel park today at the office. But since I am a probationary driver, and they teach you parallel parking at driving school with a formula that can only be used at the school's parking space, this seems like a huge problem for me. What is easy as ABC for experiencec driver is mighty hard for me. So after 5 minutes of reverses and forwards, I eventually drove around and parked at the parking space, 5 minutes walk from my office.

Here's an easy way I found on you tube. I paraphrase it according to my undersatdinh.

How to parallel park

1. Turn your signal on. Let's say you are parking on your right, turn your right signal on.
2. Check whether your car will fit in the space.
3. Drive forward so your seat is aligned with the seat of the car in front of the empty space. Stop there.
4. Roll down the window. Adjust the side mirror all the way down so you could see your car's position better.
5. Reverse the car so your rear tire are parallel with the back of the car's bumper. 
6. Crank your steering wheel to the right and rear away into the space.
7. When the center pillar of your car is even with their back bumper. Straighten your wheel and back away.
8. Just before your right mirror is passing the rear of car, crank all the way to the left. Watch for the curb, the car behind you and everything else.
9. Adjust the car so you'll be in the middle comfortably.


It's not a thankless job as people seem to think. You don't need people's thanks to be a mother, you don't have to feel bad in having never received any appreciation from being a mother. Caring about what other people think about your mothering skill is a total bullshit because people will complain, and people will comment and offer their endless opinions. It is up to ourselves to feel fulfilled within our own terms. The children will grow up and get out of the house, we will grow mature and one day, die alone in our own graves. So the best thing to be as a mother is to be thankful on a daily basis, thank ourselves instead of waiting for your husband, sons, daughters, or some other people thanks. Don't dwell about our past mothering mistakes and just think of a better way to mother the kids that moment. Whether a working, full time, part time, stay at home or whatever you call your mother-type-self, just enjoy the daily bits and let go of whatever that people say to you. Agree to disagree they said. So I guess, when they said your son is 'shocked' because of some mystery being, just let them be with their opinion, even when the child is just recovering from measles and obviously isn't himself yet. Would you be laughing and chatting away a day after having fever and rashes all over your body?

Best fan video of Sherlock (BBC)

Fan videos of Sherlock Holmes

I was in Kedah, Alor Setar that is.

y. Ms assigned me as an assistant producer for a live streaming production. There were two events held on two separate nights, one was a ceramah agama (religio.ul Handy Black and Yazid Sejati. They are the rockers ofthe late 80s and early 90s.

Here are some photos when I was there in a jumbled order.

Rehearsal prior to live streaming.

On my way to breakfast somewhere in Kuala Kedah. I think this was the day I had roti jala at Jalam Gangsa.

This was somewhere near the market at around Kuala Kedah, my officemates were sshopping for crabs.

The performers for the concert.



The  pictures above were mostly taken during day time during rehearsals. I did not manage to get any pictures from the actual shows because I was busy learning on the job.

The person on the left is the director, sitting next to him is the switcher who makes all the super CG and crawling appear on screen after cues from the director. We have 3 cameras, and 4 cameramans working on turns. There is also a senior technical producer to check on the streaming. This is live video production streamed onto a website, via broadband cable.

I'll tell you more, see you in a few days time.




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