It's not a thankless job as people seem to think. You don't need people's thanks to be a mother, you don't have to feel bad in having never received any appreciation from being a mother. Caring about what other people think about your mothering skill is a total bullshit because people will complain, and people will comment and offer their endless opinions. It is up to ourselves to feel fulfilled within our own terms. The children will grow up and get out of the house, we will grow mature and one day, die alone in our own graves. So the best thing to be as a mother is to be thankful on a daily basis, thank ourselves instead of waiting for your husband, sons, daughters, or some other people thanks. Don't dwell about our past mothering mistakes and just think of a better way to mother the kids that moment. Whether a working, full time, part time, stay at home or whatever you call your mother-type-self, just enjoy the daily bits and let go of whatever that people say to you. Agree to disagree they said. So I guess, when they said your son is 'shocked' because of some mystery being, just let them be with their opinion, even when the child is just recovering from measles and obviously isn't himself yet. Would you be laughing and chatting away a day after having fever and rashes all over your body?

Best fan video of Sherlock (BBC)

Fan videos of Sherlock Holmes

I was in Kedah, Alor Setar that is.

y. Ms assigned me as an assistant producer for a live streaming production. There were two events held on two separate nights, one was a ceramah agama (religio.ul Handy Black and Yazid Sejati. They are the rockers ofthe late 80s and early 90s.

Here are some photos when I was there in a jumbled order.

Rehearsal prior to live streaming.

On my way to breakfast somewhere in Kuala Kedah. I think this was the day I had roti jala at Jalam Gangsa.

This was somewhere near the market at around Kuala Kedah, my officemates were sshopping for crabs.

The performers for the concert.



The  pictures above were mostly taken during day time during rehearsals. I did not manage to get any pictures from the actual shows because I was busy learning on the job.

The person on the left is the director, sitting next to him is the switcher who makes all the super CG and crawling appear on screen after cues from the director. We have 3 cameras, and 4 cameramans working on turns. There is also a senior technical producer to check on the streaming. This is live video production streamed onto a website, via broadband cable.

I'll tell you more, see you in a few days time.

Sherlock terbitan BBC

Hello, Assalamualaikum dan selamat berhujung minggu.

I am entertaining the thought of creating a Tumblr account. One knows that Tumblr is a universe for existing tv/movie series' fandoms, like Dr Who, Sherlock, Supernatural and Avengers. Once you go down Tumblr, you will take awhile to resurface. It's like, makan tido Tumblr je. Ok lied. When you have a family, Tumblr becomes the cause of imsomniac nights because the only time to layan Tumblr is after 11 pm. 

Sherlock ialah Sherlock Holmes, kisah drama penyiasatan watak yang dicerna daripada minda Sir Arthur Conan Doyle pada tahun 1887. Dia dibantu oleh John Watson, seorang doktor dan askar veteran yang baru balik daripada perang. 

Masa aku kecik aku perasan ada tertengok drama bersiri Inggeris Sherlock Holmes di TV, wataknya sebiji-sebulat macam dalam buku rasanya. Kisahnya berlatar belakangkan zaman Victoria, zaman kekuasaan Queen Victoria daripada tahun 1837 hingga 1901.  Watak Sherlock Holmes dibayangkan ke hulu ke hilir dengan kanta pembesar dan sebuah beg penuh dengan peralatan lain untuk menyiasat.

Seterusnya, masa zaman dewasa ini aku dapat melayan cerita berkonsepkan Holmes dalam House, cerita pasal doktor yang sentiasa dapat meneka penyakit pelik-pelik pesakitnya. 

Dan lepas tu ada cerita arahan bekas suami Madonna, Guy Ritchie, bertajuk Sherlock Holmes lakonan RDJ dan Jude Law. Totally awesome, tapi aku tak suka watak Mary dalam Sherlock Holmes filem ini. Dan kerana filem ini juga aku mendalami steam punk fesyen.

See my board here . Ok, tak banyak pins pun sebab dah lama tak layan dan tak banyak bahan di Internet pun yang dijumpai. 

Sekarang pula aku tengah layan Sherlock terbitan BBC, sebenarnya dah habis tengok kalau ikutkan tapi sedang tengok semula sampai bosan. Sebab aku tengok versi tak ada subtitle jadi, aku suka tengok balik untuk pemahaman kali kedua.

Holmes versi Sherlock BBC. Aku rasa terbaik buat masa ini, walau pun aku tak baca buku dia pun lagi walau pun dah beli setahun setengah lepas. Hihi.

Media Sosial aku dah sedikit demi sedikit meresap elemen Sherlock. Adakah aku dah jadi sebahagian fandom dia? Mungkin dalam 7 peratus, namun aku tak ship Johnlock ok. Aku rasa hubungan Sherlock dengan John hanya sekadar hubungan simbiosis yang tak kan membawa ke seks. Kalau suka dengan orang yang aje nak kena libatkan seks ke? 

John diperkenalkan sebagai lelaki kesepian yang baharu pulang daripada perang, dan orang yang baharu pulang daripada dunia yang penuh dengan was-was di mana sampah tepi jalan pun ada bom, pasti akan merana dengan  sindrom pascatrauma dan pada masa yang sama dia berjumpa dengan seseorang yang tak hairan langsung dengan dia punya penyakit, malahan siap menemukan Encik Watson dengan kehidupan yang penuh aksi dan macam-macam. John Watson is totally addicted to Sherlock Holmes. Itu sahaja dan bukan cinta homo ok.

Haha. Matilamak kalau fandom dia baca, tapi aku bet dia takkan baca blog picisan macam aku punye ni. Anyway, ini bintang utama Sherlock BBC, Mr Benedict Cumberbatch. Dia juga bintang The Immitation Game dan orang jahat dalam Star Trek yang terbaharu. Dia juga hos Laureus Sports Awards tahun lepas yang bersiaran di TVi. Cis, nape aku tak tengok ek.

Benedict Cumberbatch in Sherlock mode.

Anyway, aku suka gile soundtrack filem ini walaupun aku tak reti satu hape pun pasal muzik. Aku hanya boleh main clarinet dan side drum sahaja suatu masa dahulu dan sekarang dah lupa semua itu. Hahahha. Aku juga suka Hedwig's theme. Siap pernah jadikan ring tone lagi masa mula-mula ada handphone yang boleh mainkan mp3.

Bait-bait ayat dalam Sherlock juga menusuk jiwa. Permainan kata-katanya cerdik dan sangat sesuai dengan situasi. Instagram aku bakal dipenuhi dengan #sherlockbbc #quotes these few weeks.

 Aku juga suka sebab cerita ini tak banyak sangat drama orang buat seks, bogel-bogel macam biasa dalam filem barat. Tapi ada sekali tu Irene Adler bogel jua.... 

Okla. nak chow. Masa dah time!

Aku nak cuba menulis dalam bahasa melayu kerana aku asyik mencari meme Sherlock dalam bahasa inggeris sahaja. Bahasa penghubung maklumat jua.

Life is a 1000 passing of phases

You used to be young, a baby in the careful hold of your mother. Then you could run like the wind but still clasped in the embrace of your guardian. Next you were single, then you get attached to a bevy of friends - a boyfriend - a friend with benefits, and sail away into years of life of your choosing.

You learn to be independent, you learn to drive a car, you learn to use public transportation, you buy that CD which contained the lovely song you heard a few times on a radio, and you rest when it all gets too overwhelming, whether from life, work or relationship.

You find people to share your joy, to exchange ideas and talk about some serious or fluffy things. You go out, have lunch, have coffee or simply sitting side by side just reminiscing about old stuff while you still can. While the similarity in background is still deemed significant, whether it be a history of recent years or 14 years ago.

You ponder about the future, about your past, about the recent history of certain things, about the deaths of friends and colleagues, about other peoples perception of you, about your perceptions of people immediate to you. You don't really care about people who have no immediate connection to you, like how a friend would say "it's not like you pay for my wedding, so it's up to me to tell you or not."

Some things are better left unblogged to not attract mommy wars like bre@stfeeding, babywearing, attachment parenting, choosing to mix feed (bre@st milk + formula milk) vs exclusively bre@stfeeding. You have disagreements with your in laws, child carers about what to feed your babies, using a walker or not, and other periodical issues.

You learn to trust your instincts when they conflict with your feelings, learn to not second guess yourself when your acts and choices are being questioned, listen to opinions but only comply if you whole heartedly believe in it.

Life is a thousand phases, a few years you will do this one thing you adore, you savour the moments, while at the same time ceasing to do other activities and leave it in the past. Starting a phase and gradually ending it, and maybe once every few years get into doing it again.

Life is a thousand phases, it only ends when you drop dead. The after life is another phase, but that's a different blog post.

A week from now I will be occupied.

There are many ways to make use of free time, and one way is to act like you don't own any free time. Like you are busy all the time and therefore anybody who wants to meet you, they must make an appointment so they will think that your time is so full of things that you must make prior engagements in order to meet you.

ps: a snippet of words for my upcoming inexistent novcl

Testing a Samsung Tab S

This is not mine, and I am just trying it out. It feels a bit awkward typing on the keypad which is connected to the tab via bluetooth.

By the way I am hungry and having Nasi Goreng USA for dinner. I should directing my thoughts on home cooking soon, it's expensive to eat out often and not so healthy because you don't know the amount of sugar and salt they use, or whether the ingredients are at all fresh.

Cute and lighting

This is a cute image of Benedict Cumberbatch. He looks glorious in here. What you don't know about this shot is, the Director Of Photography did his job really well here. The background is darker, suggesting that the director uses other lights to specifically light up his face. Maybe one from the right side and one from under because you can barely see any shadows there. But the lights are softened, maybe using filters.

In another note, I am using my 3 weeks of spare time to analyze everything Sherlock BBC. So you will see a lot of it pouring in my future posts. I just love the show and its fans, they do a great job analyzing the cinematography, shots and costumes. I wish it is colder than cold in Malaysia sometimes, so I can wear a long winter coat and pretend like I am Sherlock :P

This is how you get a flawless skin selfie, ok apart from your camera phone having a beautify setting. Make the lights work for you. Don't just shoot yourself in some kind of dark lighting, walk around to find the best light. Natural light is friendly, so take a selfie by the window and go through trial and error. Adieu.