Panic in the pandemic

 

This is an artwork I made recently to capture the panic that I felt during the pandemic.

Yes, I panic a lot during the pandemic of 2021. I hate that I overthink these days, and I want to change. Sometimes I think I have managed to overcome my anxiety in some little ways. Baby steps they said. I do talk to my significant other but you know how being worried everyday gets to you eventually.

How do I know that I am suffering from anxiety? Sometimes I measure my blood pressure and it goes 90 beats perminute. I read that it is quite high for my age. I did not do anything, I was just lying down but my mind goes 150 km an hour. I also have great anxiety about going out after being casual contacts of covid patients.

Some days I eat late and just drink water, but these days I have breakfast even if it is an apple. My stomach has suffered a lot probably, and I read that stress can cause bowel problems so that is another reason to not overthink all the time. I now I must live with this anxiety so therefore I can only lessen it but it will never completely go away.

When I think about it, I am probably an over thinker ever since I was small. I used to think that I am a problematic child because I often make my parents angry. I have good grades but at everything else I fail, lmao. Now I take it easy on myself, I do not want to be rejected by myself anymore. I want to be able to live with anxiety and also enjoy my weird self.

I am weird and I am embracing it. I just need to be more patience myself I think. Here to a lesser anxious me.