Let it go, let it go..

Letting it go is a tough thing to do. Especially when it is something you have been accustomed to or have been dreaming of for months. Just when you thought you are able to grasp it, the situation makes it unsuitable for you to obtain it for that moment. Not now, it seems to say, maybe later.

I have a hard time letting go. Especially when it comes to things so deeply latched to my heart. One of those things is letting go of...

So far people have laughed at my attempt to craft. Maybe because I kept buying craft supply like there's no tomorrow while the evidence of my crafty soul is nowhere to be seen. Eh, yesterday I spent my KL Book Fair budget on 8 pieces of imported fabric. Oh well, I can't have it all. My books bought for reading 2014 is sufficient, if you count an average of a book a month. So I splurged on these fabrics. Not an amount that would make you cry but for me who have hardly time to craft, it is a huge amount.

Since I don't drive and I am about to be huge entering my 3rd trimester, and the nanny's house is on the 5th floor and I have been coming home later than usual... I am contemplating sending my son to his grandma's house for awhile before I give birth. It is a temporary placement but since his grandma kept saying about treating my son like a constant companion, I felt like I am fostering him away. It felt like he is staying there for good. I know that is not a possibility for the time being but I just can't let him go. 

Actually if I send him for care during my 32nd week, he will only be away for 8 weeks only. And I will be seeing him every 2 weeks or so and then I will be having my confinement at my MIL's house where he already his. 

I am sure his love and memory of me won't easily wither in that 8 weeks of separation. Oh but he's my first born and I am having great separation anxiety.

I was recently presented with a small amount of money which should have enabled me to buy a sewing machine, but my car was due for service and half of my money went there. A part went to buying a printer because as a working couple, me and my husband needs to have our own printer. Today's printer is a machine which can copy, scan and print via wifi. The ink cartridge is cheaper than older model printers too. I have even printed an album of wedding pictures for a relative as wedding present. Thought the cost is same as going to the printers, at least I can do it on my own sweet time.

This is my current mode. I have to learn to let go of so many things that I have temporarily resign myself as a wannabe. I am a wannabe artist, a wannabe seamstress, a wannabe artist and a wannabe novelist. At least I had tried my hands on some part of it. But surely and slowly I am actually becoming a mother of two. The second bub's due in July. 

Oh, it's 7 pm already. Have to fetch my first born.





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