Without the man of the house :(

I was just thinking how does it feel to not have a man in the house. I mean how does it feel not to have a father figure in the house? Will it feel like something is missing or will it feel normal because you can't miss something that you never had right?

I look at people around me and wonder how do children cope when their parents divorce. If they live with their mother's family and their father only sees them once a week, how would they feel? Do they feel a nagging emptiness inside or do they accept it as a fact of life and cope with it?

My mom and my father are very much together. But my father and me had a cold relationship when I was growing up. Now as an adult I can easily say anything I want to him although we won't be talking like old friends anytime soon.

Usually my sisters and I would talk to him via our mother if we want or needed anything. Mom told us that sometimes he felt jealous when we called from the public phones of our boarding school and asked to talk to Mom although he answered it. Plus even when Mom wasn't there we just told him that we would call later instead of passing the message to him.

I guess he showed his love to us in ways that we can't easily decipher. Cold hard acts of love maybe. But seeing myself here typing this and being healthy emotionally and physically and not ever a broken bone under his care must meant that he dearly loved us in his own way. Love u too father.